I am a minimalist.  I only own what I love or need and I rarely buy new things.  My attitude towards the things I own has changed massively over the last few years but, today, I want to talk about buying things and how it makes me feel.

I used to see buying new things as a form of escapism.  I would invest way too much of myself in these items; the dress to make me feel pretty, the book to make me feel clever, the poster that proved I loved the thing I loved…  It took a lot of unlearning to realise that I can be pretty and clever on my own; and perfectly entitled to love what I love without needing to confirm it with my purchases.

But I still like making purchases; it’s just that the process has completely changed for me now.  It used to be an impulsion or something to fill a void; now it is a carefully considered decision informed by a noticeable lack of an item.  Quite often a purchase is preceded by months of me looking for “the right one”.  I look for something that suits me, that is good quality, that is in budget, that is vegan and made of sustainable materials in a factory that treats its workers fairly.  And if I can’t find one that ticks all those boxes then I rethink whether or not I really want it.

I still get a kick out of welcoming something new into my life – not unlike meeting someone new or hearing a new song that you’ve fallen in love with.  I now know that this new pair of shoes won’t fix any insecurities about my height and this new pan won’t make me love cooking any more than I currently do but, now, when I make a purchase, I know that I am supporting a company or charity I like.  I know that I have given the decision enough time.  I know that the pang of guilt that used to come with spending money won’t rear its horrible head.

I still like buying things.  Just not all the things.

Carmen x